I wonder...

Rhianeth

May you forgive my madness. Cause half of me is love, and the other half ...as well.

Thought # 1

On the line of life, i'm the discarded spool.

Happy on another lonely day!

This is the day, i'm going to change the rest of my life.
Confessed my sins to myself, said goodbye to my best friend.
He was the only one left to tell me the truth.
My own past is the highest fence.
If i can't jump it i'm going to run on through.
I have no one to share my music with.
To read my rants, and hold me when i feel lost inside.
That knows the pain behind my smiles.
And the sorrow in my eyes.
If i want to jump, i do not fear. i do not hesitate.
But nobody jumps with me. My mind makes no sense but to me.
If i can't find the right company, i'll just keep on going. Lonely!

Drawn with lines

Castaway of amor!

Floating in the thick liquid of insanity
Swimming in circles
Breathing and gasping lunacy
Every word spoken unread
Looking at my hands
I don't find a map of your head

But every thought of you
Is all that joy could ever bring
When you look at me
I wonder what to do
My love, are you just a fling?

Unshoed people walking on the sand
Grasping with their hands
The broken hearts that won't last
It fades like day light, it's dark as his night
Unmercifull as his moon, and overpowering like the sun
Must take the wave to the shore, a castaway of amor!

Abandona-me por favor!

Finding out my feelings didn't die.

If it's time to start taking chances again at connecting with people.
I will try and play this game again. And i do think i'm taking chances
With people whom feel right to take chances with.

I feel lonely when i'm with you.

I would walk a million miles to cross this road
So eager to see what's on the other side, if what was greener has now died
Smile and keep inside, the lies i can't uncover
The pain i rediscover.
Disappointment past grabs hold of me, and keeps haunting.
Strange feelings, the unjustifiable actions.
Can't explain them.
Unable to decide, don't know how i feel.
Can't explain how i feel.
Can't decide what to do.
Been so lost since i found you!

The scenes we play, the act of lying to ourselves.

Today i needed a friend
All i got was misery
I can't stand these walls no more
Lifes curfew came early on cue
The plot of our lifes bent over, askewed
As we leave the stage applauded or hissed
The things we wished for
Will surely be missed.

All about the bullshit

Its just one of those days
When you don't wanna wake up
Everything is fucked
Everybody sux
You don't really know why
But you want justify
Rippin' someone's head off
No human contact
And if you interact
Your life is on contract
Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker
It's just one of those days!!

I quote her

I follow my heart
And leave my head to ponder
Deep in this love
No man can shake
I follow my heart
And leave my mind to wonder
Is this love worth
The sacrifices i make

My valentine

What was given by destiny
Wasn't ment to be
The lies we shared
The affection we shred
Keeping a confourtable lie
To keep a confourtable company

We love and always will
Just not today, not each other
As i gain the courage to cry
There's no tears left to weep
I try to relive this feeling
But my dry eyes sleep

My valentine hates me
Grasping each other appart
Celebrating the closing of the day
Our ways finaly part.

Blank pages

I hate looking at blank pages, so i wrote this!

Tears on the phone

Tonight i feel the anger, of not beeing listened to
In this warm room i feel cold, cause i miss you
No one knows, and never will
How i warned, how i tried
To keep these dramas apart
I was again a fool, for trusting someone as sweet as you
How could you hurt all i love, all that matters to me.
Thinking you're such a part in my life, i would give you my simpathy
Hate, you and me, fooled me, i hate you
No words make sense, incoherent speach
Numb brain, all i see is lies, all i speak is hate.
I warned you time and time again, you choose to defy me
Now you are gonna pay.
For all the promises i made, this is one i won't break.
I'm karmas shortcut to retribution
I'll make sure you'll get yours.
You'll get yours. You'll get yours.
You should have messed with me, not him, me.
Hear what i say, to whatever God listens, i pray.
That you, fucking bitch. PAY!

Desfazamento do que eras.

À roda neste circuito de mentiras e amizades
As trocas de influências nos circulos de loucura
As pessoas que conhecemos tão bem
Tornam-se desconhecidos
Abstraindo-se de quão belas costumavam ser
Transformam-se em seres de repulsivo desdem

Cantando canções para quem ja cá não mora
Num coração vazio daquilo que foi outrora
Cheio de sorrisos e paixões
Inundado de mentiras e desilusões
Alguem vazio consola alguem destroçado
Justificando os seus azares com os seus ficticios defeitos

Seres perfeitos
De sorte nula
Julgam-se responsaveis por toda a sua mágoa
Mesmo sabendo, que a culpa não é sua.

Somos perfeitos pelos nossos defeitos
Amados pelos nossos defeitos
Julgados pelos nossos defeitos
Mas nunca traidos por eles.

"Im a runaway son of the nuclear a-bomb
I am a worlds forgotten boy
The one who searches and destroys
Honey gotta help me please
Somebody gotta save my soul
Baby detonate for me
Look out honey, cause Im using technology
Aint got time to make no apology
Soul radiation in the dead of night
Love in the middle of a fire fight
Honey gotta strike me blind
Somebody gotta save my soul
Baby penerate my mind"

Train - Drops of Jupiter

Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there’s time to change, hey, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the Moon
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, heyHey, hey, hey

Tell me, did you sail across the sun?
Did you make it through the Milky Way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?

Now that she’s back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there’s room to grow, hey, hey,hey
Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
I’m afraid that she might think of me as...
plain ol’ Jane told a story about a man who is
too afraid to fly so he never did land

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way?
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind?
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you,
Even when I know you’re wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze-dried romance,
Five-hour phone conversation,
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day?
And head back toward the Milky Way

Senhores do nada

Somos nós os principes
Dos sentimentos descartaveis
Trazemos bem estar e alegria
E somos reciclados com o resto da porcaria
Duração limitada, satizfação garantida
Após alguem feliz retomamos a casa de partida
Somos nós os ratos da corrida
Somos o labirinto, o queijo e a tara perdida
Nada precisa fazer sentido desde que a missão seja cumprida
Caras felizes e mais uma chuva de desilusão
Voltamos nós o triste trio á condição que nos é tão familiar
A separação conjunta de amores confusos
A conjução de sentimentos em apaixonados separados
E a solidão de que junta corações e nao mais sente as suas emoções
Somos principes dos sentimentos descartaveis
Duques da loucura e da devoção
Reis dos amores perdidos e da desilusão
Fico eu mais tu, e o nosso outro irmão
Que se perdeu pelas outras mãos
Agarramos-te nós, e trazemos-te para o que costumava ser.
A felicidade que se apresentou e nos escapou
Voltaremos a viver, e a sofrer
Juntos.

The unlovable man

If the sun never rose again
I would be just a whisper
Whithout a name in the end
A ghostly conscience

Myths of the unlovable man
That lived between the stars and the sea
Followed by his lonelyness and his sadness
Seeking a place that would never be

Holding hands with the empty space in his heart
He strolls down a crowded lane
Filled with lovers fading apart
He smiles as he's the one who drives their pain

And he will cross the ways
Over the same road he knows too well
To be unloved again as he puts himslef to someone
That retrives bitterness in wich to dwell

He strums the pavement with his feet
Walking to the beat of a broken heart
Coming to find me, to find himself
Where he can make portraits of himslef

There he goes again, to find a new one to hate
To lose a litle more of his soul and faith
To give away another part of his fate
Never beeing scared, always beeing bold

Life did him wrong again
But look at him go
The unlovable man and his gloominess
Watch them flow
Watch me go.

Vida sem maré

Como se acaba algo que não se consegue começar?
A nauseante incertesa que nos pára a vida.
Os breves momentos de felicidade que nos trazem
Uma alegria que se esvai como uma droga
Com tantas oportunidades á escolha
Pensei que conseguiria aproveitar alguma!
Na duvida e no desconhecido
Farei o que sempre faço,
Correr risco e aguentar a borrasca de proa.
Vejamos o que me traz a bonança.
Se vens, esse alguem nas ondas, trazido pelos meus pedidos
Gritados ao vento.

Rant

Bury your guilt deep
In bloody waters
Sleep while fairies
Curse your dreams
Actions absent of
Reason and pondering
Bring chaos to a world
We'll never see
Dust will purify
Our sin on intolerance
May the innocent
Be leaded by the indecent
Clueless leaders of
A pack of braindead sheep
The mask of the idiot
Hides cruelty
Calculating acts of murder
And decieving moves
Of over-powered lunacy
Those who choose not to see
Are the real fools
Should belive
But never stop doubting
Headlines lie, blindfolded mice
Are more preceptive
Than the voting parties
Burn the seas and drink the oil
These days weren't ment to be
I want you to see
Death isn't the remedy.

The new me, would be

Would you ever come with me?
Could you trust me your soul?
To have and to hold
Like something beautiful

I'll show you what you can't see
Life is ruled by dishonesty
People cloning those
They worship in secrecy

But i'll give something free
Of all hypocrisy
I'll give you me
For you to keep safetly

Would you jump blindfolded
If i tell you to believe in me?
For everything i know of you
You never stop to surprise me

Born in honesty
I adore you so
Could you love me?
And let this feeling grow

My lovely man

Good friends are like stars.You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.

When i get heartbroken and my face shows a frown, even far away you feel it too and find a way to make me smile.
Even when life, love and luck don't smile at me, you do. And that's all that matters.

Thank you for just beeing by my side, even when that's the worst place to be!

O meu livro

Um dia, tudo sera diferente, tudo irá mudar
Mas quanto tempo tenho eu de esperar?
Para que a minha vida ganhe um rumo
Um sentido ou um propósito, que tomo.

Chega deste enfadonho vaguear
A vida de trabalho, lar
Casa para onde volto, e nada me espera
Senão mais um livro aberto
Onde leio as vidas de sonho que nunca viverei
Onde todos os amigos ficam juntos
E felizes para sempre, histórias de embalar
Que atormentam o meu sonhar

Hoje não há nada para mim aqui
E não sei onde procurar
Onde vasculhar
Uma procura penosa, ainda mais só

Perguntando-me o que me espera amanha
Faz-me perder o hoje, esquivar o presente
Que mais tarde nao vou conseguir recordar
Que mais tarde vou desejar ter aproveitado

Não é facil sermos nós próprios
Especialmente quando escolhemos não usar mascaras
Que nos pudessem dissimular na multidão
De gente diferente, e unica
Que vive de forma igual, por escolha, por medo
Mas nunca por obrigação

Porque escolhemos ser como somos?
Não haverá nada mais que isto?
Tragam outra realidade, esta não me serve.
Virem-me esta página, faltam-me as forças para o fazer
Sozinho.

The way it used to be

I miss a smile that's warmer than the sun
Eyes that sparkle as lights in the water
I have these feelings, i can't hide this
The urge to be, not alone, not with someone
To feel complete in my own heart
That beats cold by disapointement

Though i don't wish to see her again
I regret not giving our last kiss
To seal the things i never thought i would miss
Though i moved on, i'm still closed at heart
I don't want that feeling of lovers torned apart

I feel drawn to life, i wish i knew how to live
Fear of the pain from a broken heart
Keep me writing blank pages filled with tears
Losing again is more than i can bear

Standing here cut by the cold wind
The clouds pass heavy with rain
How i wish for a strom, to bring back
All i lost, all the innocence, and all the love i had
All that's gone from me, come back
The way it used to be

(Another year gone, it's all the same)

Alice In Chains - Love, hate, love

I tried to love you I thought I could
I tried to own you I thought I would
I want to peel the skin from your face
Before the real you lays to waste

You told me I'm the only one
Sweet little angel you should have run
Lying, crying, dying to leave
Innocence creates my hell

Cheating myself still you know more
It would be so easy with a whore
Try to understand me little girl
My twisted passion to be your world

Lost inside my sick head
I live for you but I'm not alive
Take my hand before I kill
Still love you, I still burn

Love, hate, love

Os meus dias

São passados a contar as coisas que nunca fiz, e as acções de que me arrependo. Pior que estagnar, retrocedo! O regresso mental para a minha carapaça ego e arrogãncia, onde encontro o verdadeiro eu, aquele que se odeia a si mesmo, mas adora o contacto que tem com a sua realidade! Seja feita a minha vontade, pois hoje sou só mais um egocêntrico, megalomano, humano. Vivendo a sua sua mediocre existencia! Sejam felizes aqueles que ignoram a sua condição.

The Fray - How to save a life

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road O
r break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness A
nd I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life

She lost herself

She loses herself when she leans over, to kiss me
On the spot we stop the clock, from passing by
Tell me, when it’s over, and take my hand
Guide me through your heart while I fall apart
From leaving this fairy tale, of living
On the covers of others soulmates

I try not to lose my composure
When I try to win her over
I run my way across the lane
She was with another man

Couldn’t get my mind together when I saw her there
Lying in bed with another man
The sheets where I shed my love for her
Conspurcating my shrine of love, and the memory of us
Wasted my life pursuing others dream,
Now I’m stuck in a limbo of indecision
Can anyone choose for me?

I try not to lose my composure
When I try to win her over
I run my way across the lane
She was with another man

Stranded in the idiocy of my own passion
I dwell in the blood rushing to my head
In a rage attack to the walls
What is beauty? What is lust?
The perfect body is the one that olds you in your sleep
Afraid of letting you go, breathing in unison

I try not to lose my composure
When I try to win her over
I run my way across the lane
She was with another man

I’m fishing for words to express my rage
As I strole down the street in a manic path,
Slaloming between the urban objects
In distain for my existence, I stumble on my emotions
Crack my chest open and take away the pain


(Click the title)

A daughters loss

Heaven awaits those we are crying for
Fortunate to escape the pain of living another day
Never knowing when the phone is going to ring
The news shred their way through your brain
Like a bullet to your heart as it falls to the ground
A father should never outlive his son,
But why did you departed so young?
You will be missed, I won’t shed a tear at your grave
I’ll save them for the happiness of seeing you again,
If I come to be as worthy as you on a place overlooking us
I’ll console those who stay and envy they’re ability to cry
But not they’re pain of loss
As you’re body is covered in dirt you’re memory is engraved in our hearts
Leave in peace
See you when I get there, kiss the stars tonight
They’ll be on your face, blessing you entrance in their realm
You made us all shine

Sonho de um homem vazio

Um sonho terrivel de um fim da vida, um livro de memórias por viver, alguem que guarda o relato de outro alguem, um alguem sem face a quem entrego as páginas do que fui, e daquilo que sempre me julguei capaz de ser. Assombrado pelo sentimento de pertencer a algo mais, sem nunca me realizar de quê.

My Radio

The screeching noise of boredom

Take the glass from my hand
I want to be sober again
See the daylight in bed
Sweat the sheets
And turn the pillow beneeth my head

I'm awake but can't get up
Overwhelmed with the weight of my history
What will get me up today?
Why shouldn't I stay?

Sleep away my life in the sun
Cold blood stroke heated by the day

I shouldn't have called
But i'm lonely
As i lie in the floor

Chrome handles on every door
Paint stains on every board

Can't straight this mess
This is the pudle of junk
To where i regress
Diagonal progress
And crowded loneliness

I try hard to be myself
People that I can't pretend
To understand or stand.
I hate the loneliness I'm craving

Nightmares of luke warm showers
And fear of lame handshakes
Panicking silence
Unconfortable sounds

The screeching noise of boredom
The surreal lights of the white plains.

Colin Hay - Overkill

I have nothig so say, so...

"
I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know I'll be alright
Perhaps it's just imagination

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
It's time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation

At least there's pretty lights
And though there's little variation
It nullifies the night from overkill
Day after day it reappears

Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Come back another day

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know I'll be alright
It's just overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away

"

Oh my

I like swiming in the sea.
Love the warm hands that towel me
The sand between my feet

I like staring at the stars
Head to head with all my friends
Singing jokes of times to be

I like sleeping in the grass
Warmed by the hot summer sun
A fresh beeze dries the moist of my lips

I like standing in the dark
Hear my self in secrecy
Wondering of things i didn't see

I like screaming in the wind
Hope my messages reach their destiny
Fearing no one's hearing me

I like all that makes me
But i haven't found my love to be
But i hope it's you holding hands with me

Can't undo

I dry my tears for you
cause there will be no hesitation
there's nothing i can do
but leave behind my desperation

roamed into my life
took my love
and quickly disapeared

though hate runs through my veins
hapiness shows in my expression
i hide with all my ways
and smear a smile for your consideration.

it didn't go as i planed today,
lost another hand
feel my dreams fadding away
didn't even bother to understand

peel the faith from my heart
i trust you
while you stab me in the dark
just another fool
lies teared us apart
i can't ignore you
but i won't adore you

Telecaster

Motivation may come from something you can't ever have, because from that moment on, the craving will be your muse. Inspiration comming from a memory, and wish from a sound. I wish it, and i shall have it.

Tonight

Somethings i can't describe. But i'm happy i got to share them with you.

The Quote

" Man i'm sooooo tired"

Lil

Steady Shot

Her beautiful face brings me so much pain, I hate the gentle smile and the eyes that gave my heart away. Glaze at me with no tears in your eyes, how can I forgive what you do not regret?
Nothing is worth what you want to say, and your silence hurts me pride. I was the fool for believing, and the fool for not retrieving.
I hate someone beautiful. I hate someone beautiful.
I want you to remember, I don't forget nor forgive, everyday you wakeup, I want you to know. That I'm gone, and nobody will ever love you or be to you what I was. Gave all of me , the best of me, and got none. Not a smile, not a word. Keep all I left behind for my package is renewed, to serve a worthy one to come. I saw reason and reason was insane , I looked at my pockets for my conscience, and my happiness on the shelves.
I hate someone beautiful. I hate someone beautiful.
It was hard to stop loving you, I won't let you back in. Stepping stone, I was. Never again.
Climb on other souls, and realease the grasp on my life. I won't love you again.
I hate someone beautiful. I hate someone beautiful.

Death by love

How we tremble at the hands of a feeble girl, and how only a strong woman can bring us back, from the dark side of our hearts. Your words shatered my logic, now they don't even mind. i'm drunk with her honesty. Can't stop the world from moving under my feet.

Cold Contagious (Bush)

wherever you are ::
you will carry always ::
truth of the scars ::
and the darkness of your faith ::
slowly move on ::
how did we get to here ::
it all went wrong ::
gravity claiming all your tears ::
everything looks :: so much better now ::
you will get yours ::
you have no right ::
to ask me now ::
you were never that around ::
i have missed ::
reality day trips and your ::
suit me suit me ways ::
turn out the light switch ::
we've been awake for days ::
and no-one's coming round ::
here no more ::
you will get yours ::
you have no right ::
to calm me down ::
you were never that around ::
i have missed ::
cold contagious ::
all the mighty mighty men ::
what you save is what ::
you lose out in the end ::
cold contagious ::
paint your perfect day ::
i don't mind this ::
i'm better off by the way ::
deeply grounded ::
you will get yours ::
cold contagious ::
all the mighty mighty men ::
what you save is what you lose ::
out in the end ::
cold contagious
cold contagious
cold contagious
cold
contagious...................

Fé

Se eu te abraçar, saltas comigo?

I'm losing focus

Feeling your hand pausing over my shoulder, I can feel your sorrow, how you missed me, and how I still miss you. So near, yet fadding away, I want to grab you and hold you against me, make sure you'll never be another piece of my broken heart.
Put together all of my ilusions, all my sufering loves, all my words and all my gestures. they make a puzzle, hard to understand, but the picture says I Love You.
It's hard to see at first, but if you try to reach it, it's there. For no one to see, for no one to hear.
Save me a hello, a kiss, a tender touch, a gentle smile, a place in your words and a thought in your eyes, for when you're no longer mine, 'cause I know I will miss you.
I miss your eyes when you glance away. I want you every second, if only in my mind.

I hate you for faking love, but love you for giving me her.

I wanna know how to love you better. I don't want this fear, of one day seeing disapointment in your eyes. Why do I need to ask for you to smile for me? If I make you happy, why do you avoid me? Summer days of my past make me cold of bad memories. I feel your warm touch given so unwillingly. You give love with no feeling, kiss me madly with no passion. How could you fake this? was it worth the betrail? If I made you so happy, why couldn't you make me? The question is not why or how, could you do what you have done but, was it worth? I thank you for all the pain, all the blood, all the sweat and all the tears of sorrow I weeped. I will never forget you. And I still feel a stong feeling for you. A putrid hate, and gratitude. For now I've found someone that makes me happy and smiles for me. Not because I ask her, but because it makes her happy. What is love? What is love but timeless. And what I felt ended. Today I start a new road. Let me go further on this one.

Beth Orton - Galaxy of emptiness

The stars light a sky
On a galaxy of emptiness tonight
Though I'm happiest
When there's no reason for me to be

With no one's expectation to weigh heavy on my heart
And so much hope it sometimes tears me all apart
Won't you please
Knock me off my feet for a while?
Could you please
Knock me off my feet for a while?

...

Um sorriso por ti

Fecho os olhos para te ver
Pois nunca estas aqui
Só queria sentir o teu respirar
E esquecer os dias sem ti

Nado rumo ao teu olhar
E amo-te porque choras por mim
Há palavras que prefiro não lembrar
Palavras que lembram uma dor sem fim

(Click the title)

Ibla dj Spankdamonky

Standing in line to get my bayleys now, and put a straw on. Take it to my mouth an let me taste the sweat of your mouth kissing with all the mistery, that you keep inside you mestirious head that i fear so, your green eyes give me the sweet taste of my fucking life. Let me see your smile just one more time befor o die. Let me breath, let me live, don't let me think.

Heavy Dose.


(António Silva)

You are to me...

I look at my hands
Where is the blood?
Was it a dream
Or misunderstood

What is reality
When you are never awake
Delusions of life
A living mistake

Mess (Lyrics by António Silva)

Standing by the river
I can feel the sense of that life
Where you love the persons who
Aren't necessarely perfect
Or just didn't born to be loved

I can feel the pain of my friend
In the car, he had the bitter feeling
Of loneliness
He makes images in his head
He's trying to repair

Pretending to be sleeping and
Secretly whatching two weirdos
That are trying to forget the
Damages in their hearts
Having just three hours of love

Now it's over
A girl that didn't like the breakfast
And lied about herself
My friends are still lonely
Let me stand next to them
Take me back to the paradise



(thanks bro, you're always in my heart. for better or worst)

Aniversário

Olhos abertos! Vai tarde a madrugada. Sombras de uma luz ténue, of flyers na parede, as calças penduradas na porta do roupeiro. Vejo as imagens na T.V., o som perdeu-se no sono. Onde quer que olhe, objectos, "tralha". Todas as coisas me trazem memórias, cada uma tem histórias para contar.
Viro-me de lado na cama, cara contra a almofada. Sinto o cheiro do tecido, faz-me falta o aroma que tinhas, o toque da pele e a humidade dos lábios, o soluçar da respiração e o movimento do teu corpo a respirar. Faz-me falta o teu aroma ao adormecer.
Mais uma luz que se acende. o aquecedor liga-se. Deve estar frio.
Levanto os olhos e vejo as guitarras, as minhas sapatilhas deixadas ao acaso, uma garrafa de água caida. Esta confusão de objectos conforta-me. Tantas coisas inanimadas embalam-me ao adormecer. Já não sinto o corpo, sinto-me como que a morrer e não a adormecer. Reviro-me na campa e vejo a porta. quero sair por ela e fazer tudo aquilo que não fiz, retomar os momentos em que hesitei. Já só me resta o respirar, o vaguear da mente. Tudo o resto de mim, dorme!
O meu consciente e subconsciente dividem-se em conflicto. Um deles vai tomar as rédeas assim que adormecer. "Em que penso eu?", pergunta o meu consciente. Em breve espero estar em R.E.M. (rapid eye movement), a fase do sono onde se dão os sonhos. Mais uma daquelas coisas inuteis que aprendemos nas revistas.
Em que pensaram os meus amigos? Muitos deles deveram estar como eu, a tentar resistir ao sono. Em que pensara ela? Será que se vai lembrar de mim hoje?
O tecto de novo, já não dou conta dos movimentos. Uma ligeira dor de cabeça, o meu corpo está a dizer-me para dormir, "deixa-te levar, dorme....eu tomo conta de tudo, vai descansado". Custa-me a acreditar nas vozes da minha própria mente.
Estarei assim por ser o meu aniversário? Não nasci neste dia, mas a minha condição legal levou-me a encara-lo como o meu primeiro aniversário.
Finalmente 20, a mudança do digito. É sempre a querer mais até aos 28, depois é o tentar abrandar o tempo até aos 30.
O que quero eu neste aniversário? Um carro novo? Dinheiro? Roupa, perfumes ou acessórios? Não me ocorre nada, nada disso me faz falta. Talvez amigos, faz-me falta o riso deles...ouço-o menos ultimamente.
E neste momento? Gostaria de estar um pouco menos constipado, ia dormir melhor. Queria agarrar alguem e saber que não ia acordar sosinho... Um papel no chão, coisinha irritante, apetece-me apanhalo. Cérebro comanda braço, mão, apanha-o....nada! Que estupidez.
Estou mesmo a adormecer, pausas espaçadas por largos minutos.....esta eminente.
Os olhos fecham-se, decido ceder. Passo a mão pelo peito e respiro fundo. Faço de conta que isto me relaxa. Lembro-me do livro, não li nada hoje...enfim. Serão 6:00...6:15. Restam 4 horas prar dormir. Amanha ......logo, será um novo dia. As coisas vão mudar, vou tomar iniciativa, vou fazer as coisas de maneira diferente. Vou traçar metas e objectivos ambiciosos.
Faço de conta que isto é verdade. De qualquer maneira é algo bom para ter em mente antes de adormecer.
R.E.M. por favor.......estou a precisar de sonhos.

Parabéns para mim!!

Adolescente perturbado (Manuel Coutinho)

A fauna humana, os lugares comuns...ao som compassado de um reggae muitas vezes tocado, já velho. Travam-se batalhas entre o meu ser e os especimens que vagueiam por entre o espaço. Sou como que um ser vagueando através do éter, movo a minha consciência serpenteando por entre os reflexos multicoloridos espelhados sobre o cromado das mesas. O veludo das cadeiras lembra-me o toque da pele dela de encontro ao desejo do meu ser. Fecho os olhos, cego pelo brotar de um cigarro que arde repousado no cinzeiro....abandonado. Tiro uma passa e repouso novamente sobre a mescla de letras atiradas sobre o vazio...gargalhares anónimos. Estou tão proximo de ti rapariga sem nome, bronzeada pelo sol de outrora. Restos de madeira amontoados lá fora, de encontro ao vazio da noite. O mar convida a desprover-me de anos e anos de uma existência computorizada. Convida-me a purificar o meu ser, á reunificação com aquilo que de primordial existe segregado dentro de mim. a combustão dá-se espontaneamente, não posso retroceder.


Manuel Coutinho Aka Matsuyama

O poeta escondio (Nuno Sousa)

Numa mesa, amigos de peito.
Umas canecas eu dou.
Nem consigo pensar direito.
Com a farda que estou.

Nuno Sousa AKA Pnaf

Inserir Titulo

A prosa dos movimentos tropos do alcool. O copo nunca esta vazia quando estamos entre amigos, ora se enche de alegria, ora se enche de boa disposição. Passamos a noite a verter humor, bons tempos, confissões e dissabores, o nectar das nossas vidas não para de correr. o sabor agridoce verte das bocas de quem fala. O sabor da vida é uma mistura de aromas, serve-se frio quando não o conseguimos servir quente. Quando estamos entre amigos o copo nunca esta vazio.

e 3 jarros de sangria depois.....

O olhar turvo sobre um copo de sangria, o estado de sonolência, a insónia de não conseguir dormir, um estado alpha de quem vagueia a sala fora do corpo. apercebemo-nos do que nos rodeia e de quem nos rodeia, tecemos opiniões sem nos lembrar-mos das criticas que formulamos, o vaguear da mente na trama dos sentidos. E aquele nome que teima em não aparecer de novo na nossa vida, assombrando o inconsciente.

Dia 2, nave corpo

Ainda a deriva neste mar de personalidades. Não sei em que porto atracar, que mentalidade adoptar. Onde tudo é impuro nenhum porto é seguro.
Depois da intimidade vem a tormenta, a incertesa no comunicar e a incapacidade de parar de falar. Não ha coer~encia nem certesa, apenas o tentar perceber o que aconteceu ao que sentia ontem.
Tão importante nos momentos ébrios, tão insuportável em todos os outros.

Bar do mário

Respiro o ar cuspido por outros. Tragos impuros de fumo, entre conversas obscuras. o que penso não digo e as conversas tornam-se vagas, cheias de conteudos vazios. Guardo para mim o que é importante, balbuciando inocencia.
O impessoal é tão mais confortavel.

Summer summary

Back

Coming out of vacation, i leave you with one of the best moments of my summer....




Paredes de coura Festival : Foo Fighters Concert

Note

Note to self!

Start working on past projects.

I put things on the shelf, saying to myself "i'll do that later", moths after i still say i'll get to that later. i have to get rid of these things.

Don't miss the next issue of "my amazingly boring life"

P.S.- i'm working now, on Etec.... i wonder how long it will take for them to fire me!!!

House of the flying daggers

It took a wile, but here it is....

House of the flying daggers.... sucked so much, if you're thinking os seeing it, go wash your car instead.

But Life aquatic, is a must.

see you next time, more to come, stay tunned.



^ - ^ v Peace

Movie

Another day, another goal. Today i'm going to see, "The house of the flying daggers", i'll post again today to express my feelings for this movie.

GO SEE "SAW", NOW GET UP, LEAVE THE PC ON.... GO!!!!!

Haoy

Hey.

Here's yours trully writing from Abela near Santiago do Cacem.
It's the edge of the world. I'm surprised to have a sewer sistem here.
But internet is like Coca-cola. it's everywere.

I'll try to keep you posted, for my friends up north, sorry guys, i left my cellphone at home. my cousin put it charging so, keep sending those life threatning sms.
The days go by so slowly here, but i got a chance to catcha cinema this friday, i saw "Saw", i recomend it vigorously.

Not much else to say...
So, err kisses, hugs, whatever people are doing these days.

^ - ^v Peace

P.s. Ill settle, things with you when i get back Poxic Avenger.

Monday

Another shity weekend is over. I want to rest, i'm not allowed, i want to work, can't concentrate. Can't enjoy myself either, 'cause i'm tired and thinking of the work i was supose to be doing.
The paradox of feelings and impulses ruins yet another beautiful weekend.
Still, beauty is ephemeral, pain is forever.
Today i also found among my belongings, letters from my penpals, to whom i nerver replied, i'll take what's left of this day, and dedicate it to those that care for me, despite my lack of care for their needs.
I mean no harm, i'm just an egocentric bastard.
I succumb more often now days to the contempt of trivial things, things i should be considering closely.
So many things inside that i can do without, desires and urges.....

That's how i react to mondays, tomorrow, i'll surely be merrier.


^ - ^v Peace

Winter

Well, i'm sick, got the flu.
Done a 2 hour exam wrinting frantic, and now i can´t relate what i wrote to the questions.
I hate my course, and i can´t find a job.

Proof enough, if there is a God, i'm on his Shitlist

Well....
My will is not broken, it´s just swollen.

A couple of laps on the track and a few bruises, will get me going again.




^ - ^v Peace

Grey day

My mind is blank, can´t write, today was a grey day. For tomorow i prey, that i have a better day.

Check my buds blog too:
http://vendoagripinos.blogspot.com/


^ - ^v Peace

Mudança de idioma

Vou começar a escrever em inglês para os meus friends overseas também poderem marcar presença. Alguem contra?? visto que nimguem visita isto... posso fazer o que me apetece.

^-^v Peace

Frequencia

Pois, ainda no ultimo post começava a vida de académico, e ja estou na primeira frequencia. Até correu bem, muito copianço, algum stress, 50 paginas lidas duas vezes numa noite, e de manha nao se reteve nada. Viva a Rafa que me safou, ainda assim rezo.
Isto começou muito mal, vindo de desenhador projectista, pareciame um passo atras, esta gente no 5º ano so come Autocad e mal, my geek life in jeopardy. Mas agora estou em áreas interessantes, os profs, sao bestiais, devia estar grato, a esta turma saiu o jackpot. A ver se me salvo ainda. Bem mais pra vir, stay tunned.

(Agora que tenho 3 posts era interessante mandar o endereço a alguem)



^-^v Peace

Regresso as aulas

Pois é, as férias estão no fim, hoje foi o ultimo dia, bem passado.
Amanha é o primeiro dia de faculdade, ja estou a imaginar os doutores, ou se´ra arquitectos???, a chamarem-me coisas bonitas e a mandarem-me por os cascos no chao.
Ser caloiro tem as suas vantagens apesar de tudo, ao contrario de muitos homens nao temos de pagar, nem correr riscos loucos pra termos uma mulher vestida de negro a tratarnos mal, a chamar-nos nomes e a berrar connosco. Para quem goste desse tipo de coisas, a praxe é optima.
Enfim aqui fica mais um fiasco literario pra este blog.... e vemo-nos amanha.

^ - ^ v Peace

Dia 1

Hum... Primeiro dia deste blog, e tudo esta bem, ou estaria, não tivesse eu hoje ido á faca. Estranho sitio o hospital, sempre que nos queixamos de algo somos tratados com frieza, e com aquela ar de despreso. Mas quando alguem nos corta um bocado ou se prepara para nos enfiar algo por um qualquer orificio, que caras rejubilantes, só simpatia. As salas de espera parecem sociedades fechadas, gente dos dois polos. ou muito novos, ou já em 3ª idade, todos os que se apresentem nos entretantos da idade, são olhados como se rompensem um circulo, um culto. Recebem aqueles olhares sobre todos gostam de estar durante horas, antes de serem operados.
Mais uma experiencia grandiosa, que espero não repetir.
De qualquer maneira, eu tb não sabia como começar esta saga de Blogger.